Whimsical Wino Pillows

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

Drunk Baby

Wine Hourglass

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

Wino Appreciation Group

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'He has his father's feet.'

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

A man with heart shaped head singing to a fuzzy flying heart

'Hi, Dad! We were going to set up the lemonade stand you suggested, but then Jamie got an even better idea!'

"I am in so much trouble."

Horse accidents

"When we talked on the phone I never said that I was a non-drinking man! I said a one-drink man!"

A heron wearing waders.

"It's not you....it's me...parrot...he doesn't approve..."

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

Alcoholic's X-Ray

"Oh, he's a darling alright: he gets up early every spring and gets me a freshly brewed coffee for when I wake up...

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

Fork reading newspaper

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

At the animal perfume fair.

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

'No one regurgitates like you, honey.'