Whimsical Pet Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!