Whimsical Pet Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

The First Cone of Shame.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!