Whimsical Gift Givers Gifts

Horse with fast-food nose bag.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Christmas Presents.

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

WC problem.

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Survival kit

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'