Whale Tamer (financially Speaking) Gifts

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'Choose, Fenster

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Education Guidance

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"So, what are you doing after whale-watching season?"

"She does this when she's tired."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'We've been lucky - sometimes you can be out here the whole day and fail to see a single boat!'

World crisis

"So...what are you in for?"

Some people save stamps or coins. I save whales.

'Call me paranoid if you like, but I feel as if people are watching me all the time...'

'I can't help thinking you need a little more focus....'

Fisherman catching whale

'Whales record their life events in their earwax.'

'If he thinks for one minute that I'm going to start making fish balls...

"I worry what kind of cat food we're going got make."

"I've got a pulse!"

"Help us!!"

"Oh I know when my wife is upset: She stops singing to me and starts talking..."

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

'I wish the different international teams of scientists would agree on a standard tagging system...'

"I can say literally anything and they use it for spa music."

"He's about your size. Peg-leg. Seen him?"

Whale holds sign: "Save Mankind"

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

"My turn."