Whale Of A Writer Gifts

"I feel like I have a book in me."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

Sperm Whale.

"What's remarkable is that just last week he was lying despondent on the beach."

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Japanese Whaling

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'I win!'

Whale Romance

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"They don't look like an endangered species."

"They migrate here each summer."

'This is a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

'Not whale stew again.'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Unique Whale Migrating Methods.

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

Moby Dickwad

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"...and here's where we ran out of Latin."

'Well, so much for whale-whispering.'

"Yes, I'm an environmentalist, But first and foremost I'm a whale."

'We'll have lunch here and then we'll keep looking for whales.'

"Don't make eye contact..."