Western Wit Explorer Pillows

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

Dawing your Cellphone

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

The Not So Wild West

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

"Sometimes it's hard to believe all this was formed by natural erosion."

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Wild West Text Showdown