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"I had to do it, Jeb. He was grilling zucchini."

A showdown between a cowboy and a clock

'Do you carry this huge gun because you have a very small penis?'

Sea Horse outside saloon

'I'd like a word with you about your 'faithful' Indian companion!'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Dawing your Cellphone

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

Hombre's Best Friend.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Though both are long retired, his faithful Indian companion continues to dispense sage advice to an increasingly skeptical masked man.

'You stay here. I'll go on a head.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I know your mother."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Cowboy:'DRAW!' - Two Cowboys about to fight it out using their Pencils and Paper pads.

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.