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"I had to do it, Jeb. He was grilling zucchini."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

A showdown between a cowboy and a clock

'Do you carry this huge gun because you have a very small penis?'

Sea Horse outside saloon

'I'd like a word with you about your 'faithful' Indian companion!'

"Who was that unmasked man?"

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Dawing your Cellphone

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

Hombre's Best Friend.

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

Though both are long retired, his faithful Indian companion continues to dispense sage advice to an increasingly skeptical masked man.

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

'You stay here. I'll go on a head.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"Bad weather, bugs, snakes, hostile Indians, rustlers, … these are some of the things you may encounter on your outward bound experience."