Western Aficionado Gifts

Cowboy Probe

"It's not a shawl, hombre - it's a hand-woven poncho."

"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."

"It's not difficult - you go 'Hi,' then 'Ho,' then the name of your horse."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

'Pay and display' parking outside a saloon.

'Don't you realize you're inside a church? Take off your hat!'

'The pain isn't too bad...but I can't take my hat off!'

Mans best friend

"It was just another sleepy little town, until the stranger who would become known as 'The Brass nightmare' came to town."

"Yes, but the trouble is he always wears that mysterious smile."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"At the count of ten, let's see if we are still angry."

'I said 'Round up a posse'!'

'You stay here. I'll go on a head.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

Did you know these beans have zero trans fat?

'When you say I have 24 hours to get out of town, does that include the grace period?'

'A speeding ticket? What in tarnation is a speeding ticket?'

Cowboys about to have gunfight are interrupted by bureaucrat: 'Hold on ... Health & Safety.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

'We're gonna need to be a tad bit quicker the next time we circle the wagons, Joe...'

The hero dramatically rides off into the sunset.

"A shot of whisky, a beer chaser, and the current issue of TV Guide, please."

"Willy, wake up! I figured out how to light my cigarette with a stick from the fire!"

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"I hope you're not going to let your parents pass by without speaking to them."

"He'll never share the road with a bicycle."

"Try again, Kemosabe. This time ease out clutch slowly."

Though both are long retired, his faithful Indian companion continues to dispense sage advice to an increasingly skeptical masked man.

"There's been a change in plans. Instead of Abilene, we're going to Camelot."

"Pretty good turnout for a Monday."

"Bad weather, bugs, snakes, hostile Indians, rustlers, … these are some of the things you may encounter on your outward bound experience."

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.