Welding Wit Appreciator T-Shirts

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cat Burglar

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Phoenix

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

William Makepeace Thackeray.

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

'The negotiations were really tough this year...but the good news is that we managed to hang on to ALL the extra work!'

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Remember I said, think outside the box.

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"Put another minnow on my line!"

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

'It won't get airborne.'

Figure of Eight

Kingsley Amis

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

Charles Bukowski

"It's still in beta."

"Santa would like to talk to you in the office."

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."