Weight-watching Wit Mugs

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Dieting Motivation.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Weight Gain Denial

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

Snake liposuction.

"Look at it this way, dear, if our bodies are 80% water, then you’re not fat, you’re flooded."

'The scientific explanation is that the universe expands exponentially, and your body is expanding with it.'

'You need to go on a diet, Dear!'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!