Weight-watcher Humour Enthusiast Mugs

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Instagram!!!

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'The best thing about Ann's Aerobics, is it's location.'

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

'It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up dieting.'

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"How's the new diet working out?"

"Brace yourself!"

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"Harold, I think your obsession about your weight is getting out of hand!"

Chromatic Scale

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

Successful dieting is just a matter of finding the right diet.

"All diet books, 69 cents a pound."

'Don't you like to do anything illegal or immoral?'

'Cheer up, at least it makes you look taller.'

"The economy is sagging and so is Walter."

No thanks, Bill, I'm allergic to chocolate. It makes me break out in pounds.

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'I can't hold on much longer! And quite frankly, you're not helping.'

'...until the doctor put me on this bread and butter diet nothing worked for me.'

'Eating celery burns more calories than not eating it. Throwing the horrible stuff away burns even more.'