Weight Loss Pillows

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

Gym Resolutions

Group of people lift elephant on seesaw

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. All I eat is salad.'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'Come on you fat sweaty useless ugly slob!!...Get those flabby white legs moving!!'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Woman and sport trainer

'Lies! Nothing but lies!'

"When I suggested you exercise to slim down I meant all of you!"

'I can't figure it out. I swim all day and I can't lose weight.'

'I diet all year, and - BOOM - one haemophiliac and it's back to square one!'

Woman to skeleton - 'I told you not to go on a No Carb, No Fat, No Meat diet all at once..'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"I haven't burned this many calories since I forgot the brownies in the oven."

"How's the diet going?"

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Strict Diet,

"Whoope! I've lost a pound!"

Somehow, Bob managed to break the cycle of abuse.

Diet Food...& lots of it

'Liposuction Clinic' Big entrance, little exit