Weighing T-Shirts

'A hundred and ninety pounds!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

'I'm sorry I ever told them it's a game of inches.'

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.

Tightrope Walker.

Gym workout.

A 'failed' brake check!

Non-metric speak your weight machine

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

The happy union of rail and trucking.

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

"I guess now would be as good a time as any to talk about balance."

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

"Just a few pumps more...!"

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

This is great, Ernie! Photoshopping pictures is a lot easier than dieting!

The Bumblebee: Mortal enemy of the tightrope walker

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

Warranty Void

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

Time Scales

Shame on You.

Spinning plates

'You see Tommy, 1 kg of Iron is not always equal to 1 kg of feathers...'