Weigh Station Operator Pillows

"One truck is over loaded, one is under loaded, and one is just right."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Dieting Motivation.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'I found another pothole.'

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Ohm sweet Ohm

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Non-metric speak your weight machine

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"I think I can detect an influence from her days as a check-out girl"

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

Back scratcher

Have a nice day - This Means You.

'Sure I have experience as a presser. I used to drive a steamroller.'

This is great, Ernie! Photoshopping pictures is a lot easier than dieting!

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Instagram!!!

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

'The best thing about Ann's Aerobics, is it's location.'

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

Caution: Do not try and make sense of our medical warnings whilst operating heavy machinery.

"Still fat."

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

'The company bought a machine to replace 20 of us, but it's too large to fit in the shop!'