Weigh-in Wizard Mugs

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Fitness guru.'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Took On Too Much

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Dustbin monster.

Body Building Mishap

'McWit, did you forget to pay the gravity bill this month again?'

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

'It's no use Lieutenant - he's still refusing to separate his recyclables.'

Gymnasts

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

This junk mail made from recycled junk mail.

"They're still putting you under a lot of pressure at work then Harry."

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

"Just a few pumps more...!"

Russian doll style wheelie bins

Confusion at the recycling centre.

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

'Parker does his best work under pressure.'

Recycled Garbage

Shame on You.