Weekend Putter T-Shirts

'Me and my clubs are watching the golf tournament.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"This place has the best happy hour."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

'Yes, the fish are biting.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"Frank, I said I'm sorry about breaking your line. But it sure was a big fish, wasn't it."

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

"How'd it happen?

"Duh!"

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"Your kind of course, dad."

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Fisherman

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'Just how much time do you intend spending in this new tool shed of yours?'

'Y'know what? Maybe we should eliminate your backswing altogether.'

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

Golfer hitting a die.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

No.3 Par 4. If it goes to the right, it's a slice. If it goes to the left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle. (Published previously on 2/16/2000.)

'The only good drive I made all morning was the ride back from the stupid golf course.'

Tee for Two

'Watch your hands.'

"My handicap? The water, trees, windows, sand...."