Wedding Storyteller Pillows

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

True confessions.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

The Family Joules: Part 21

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'He does.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Children's Party

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

Speech

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."