Wedding Shower Gifts

Sarah regretted having coed wedding shower.

Tartine

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'The child is very illogical'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'