Wedding Satire Prints

'The limousine they sent us has flashing lights and a siren.'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The finer points of marriage.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"I never thought I'd get married again."

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

When Female Leopards Marry.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

'When I think of all the men I could've married...'

Hen do!

'Sometimes I think you only married me for my employer's spousal benefit health insurance coverage.'

'...And do you Colin, take Linda to be your cook, cleaner and main income provider?'

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'Actually, your wife's quite hot... Mind if I ask her for a date?... Post decree absolute, of course.'

'Is the divorce pool still open?'

"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."