Wedding Planner Jokester Pillows

"For better or for worse, from pre-nuptial contract to no-fault divorce..."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'Some Honeymoon!'

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

"What are you doing in the box? You're meant to be in the dog house"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

'My pre-nuptial agreement reads, she's too good for me, but will marry me anyway!'