Wedding Planner In A Pinch Pillows

"I need something to dissolve superglue that will be safe on tulle and cat fur, and that's all the information I'm prepared to offer at this time."

Lesbian civil partnership.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"...until death do you a favor."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I always cry at weddings!'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Marriage least expected to last...

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'