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"I don't know who to choose to give me away - my biological father, my adoptive father, or my stepfather."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"...until death do you a favor."

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Andrew, the wedding usher from the future.