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'Are we breaking up so soon?'

Two brides on wedding cake.

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"...until death do you a favor."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'He does.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Wedding disaster #27.

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'No, but thanks for asking,'