Wedding Planner Fan Pillows

'Are you sure we've got the right date?'

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'What's the matter, baby? . . . Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.'

'Will you promise to honor each other's stuff?'

"If anyone has reason why these two should not be wed, tweet now or forever hold posting online comments."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I always cry at weddings!'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'