Wedding Day Analysts Pillows

"The video of our wedding now includes commentary."

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.

Preachers with far too much input

'You look lovely darling, but it's a bit over the top for a first date. . .'

"Please put the ring on her finger, Mr Stroodel - I'm sure she'll give you a receipt after the service."

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

Maybe you could finish flirting with that girl so we can get back to discussing our wedding plans!

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

'Mark my words - this will all end in tears!'

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

'My client does.'

'Are we breaking up so soon?'

"He just rang to say carry on without him and he'll see us at the reception."

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

A bride and groom playing a double bass

Two brides on wedding cake.

For better or for worse till debt do you part...

'I wear the pants in this family!'

In Sickness And In Hell

"My wife is all in the eye of the beholder."

'We have a good marriage, but not a marriage made in heaven.'

"We could save a lot if we move the wedding to the front yard and document it with the doorbell camera."

'I've fully costed my wedding plans, Daddy.'

"Could you help me pick one that looks nice? I've never been good at that."

"I just need reassurance, Debbie. When your Folks die you're coming into a bundle, right?"