Wedding Budgeter Pillows

"She's in a borrowed dress and I'm in a rented tux...throw money!"

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I always cry at weddings!'

'He does.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"