Budgeteer Pillows

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'My investment objective is to be able to pay my energy and drug prescription bills.'

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

Homeless count.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'If there's no discretion, then it's not discretionary spending.'

Those wanting a balanced budget. . .

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Look at this paycheck! It's practically nothing! Tomorrow, most of this will be gone! And it happens over and over...every two weeks! How do people live like this?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

Unemployment Math

You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month. Eighteen, including yourself.

BELTS, loose & tight...weight loss clinic and financial advisors.

'Honey, the splurge isn't working!'

Thrift: I only believe in small ufos, because they use less fuel!

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

"I've just thought of a way to save the company £25,000 a year."

"He's never been good with money."

Disraeli Allies with Gladstone over 1857 Budget

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'