Webinar Enthusiast Pillows

'What a great web-inar presentation! How about an encore?'

"Really? Why has nobody ever brought this up on our webinars before?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Likes: $2.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Super Student

Hanging off every word...

Man doing a search on a computer

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'Do you have 4G up here?'