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Surreal Weather

'The last thing I remember saying is, 'it looks like it's gonna be cloudy'.'

Surreal Weather

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

The Proust of Twitter

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Accountant Manqué

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Caroline goes to her crossword compiling class on Thursdays.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"Eddie, thanks to GPS, we no longer say your stocks are dropping. We say 'recalculating'."

"See this thingamabob attached to your whatchamacallit? That’s the doohickey I was afraid of."

'Your intoxication beauty has made me forget my problems, my inhibitions, my wallet. Would you mind paying for the check?'

“This particular variety was incredibly full-bodied.”

Rebellious Typewriters

"I need a five letter word that starts with 'Ca'."

Lemonade and counsel

'My Life, The Sequel.'

Gone with the Wind...the first draft.

'Spotting the jacal in the rille left him roupy.'

'I learned a new word today!'

'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'

'The days of rewarding me with mere pats on the head are over.'

"I don't think we want to be talking to the staff about 'redundancies'...It's such a harsh term, it would only cause panic!"

A dog barking.

"Ms. Clemmons gives you a smiley face if you make a hundred on your spelling test."

'A little flinty with a blackcurrent boguet, medium tannin, a slight hint of the sea, with merlot overtones and an after taste that becomes okaey with a hint of liquorice...'

"The house of Chardonnay, sir - it's a young wine and a bit fruit forward."

'Will you (swearing) shut the (swearing) up? -- I'm trying to work on my children's book!'