Cloudy Wordsmith T-Shirts

'My Life, The Sequel.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Mother Goose's Haiku

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Shakespeare Ave

A Poet

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

Tom Stoppard

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

Art Gecko.

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

James Russell Lowell

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."