Weather Oddball Pillows

"It's going to rain all week, so I can't take you on walks to get your exercise. So, I'll teach you how to use this fitness machine."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Clam Spearing

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

"Shake it and climate change occurs."

'And as a further sign of global warming, we have a front of fried eggs descending from the north.'

Cone of Uncertainty

Stormy Night

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't WANT to strike the same place twice. Didja ever think of that?"

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

"Suncreen's for the birds right, Oscar?!"

Space Turkey Aliens visit a family on Thanksgiving.

A jester doing the weather forecast.

"Once again, I'm not dressed appropriately for the weather."

Lake Skater

"Do you think we should have the barometer extended?"

Cloud Menopause

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"

Flood Map: You Are Here.

"The Chinese global warming hoax!"

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow!"

'I'd like a full report on my office paint job.'

Hurricane Bomb

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

How tropical depressions are cured.

"If I were a meteorologist, 50% correct would be considered pretty good."

"Hail, Satan...!!"

"Gracie, remember how you wanted me to go on that school field trip tomorrow...and I said I was too busy? Well, my appointment has been canceled, so I can go!"

'Remember, it's not the heat, it's the humidity.'

Pumpkin Shortage