Wearable Tech Whiz Gifts

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

Ready for a run!

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

"I need to take the batteries out of that one."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

This Cave Updated Daily.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Buy my data $20"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'Actually, we're having trouble finding people to test the damn thing.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Since we became a paperless workplace, it's harder to keep track of how much work Ziegler is actually doing!"

Rationalization

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"We worked out how to make the watch smaller, now we just need to figure out how to make it lighter!"

The 39 Steps

"...and if I press this button..."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

'Data Dude' magazine.

"...first, let's just figure out an adjustmetn to my allowance..."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was wearing a Fitbit?"

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

Sports and new technologies

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."

"As an attorney half my time is spent in court. The rest is evenly split between sitting at my computer and looking for parking."

"Next bench is four steps."

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

'And this wearable smartwatch sends a text to my wearable smartglasses to let me know when I'm not wearing any pants.'