Wearable Tech Junkie T-Shirts

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

"It's the new self-driving model."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Ready for a run!

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

I'd rather be phishing.

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

The manufacturer tried giving the virtual assistant a male voice...but it never listened to a thing you said and forgot anniversaries and birthdays."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Computer Fashion Show

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

"Memory? It has too much memory. Still holds a grudge."

"Scan it for signs of life."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

The 39 Steps

'Looks like Bob has taken his new e-commerce position a bit too seriously!'

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"We worked out how to make the watch smaller, now we just need to figure out how to make it lighter!"

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'He's had too much exposure to wi-fi.'