Wealthy Friend Pillows

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

"We're feeling the pinch too. . . Arthur's money only lasts through half as many stores!"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I just..."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Remote Control Duck

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

"We're going to need more pets."

'How much did you save this year?'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

Medication for the elderly

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

Checking for signs of life.

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

'I think we may have an income problem.'

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"