Wealth Management Guru T-Shirts

'He prefers smoking cash to injecting it.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

The best financial decision I ever made.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'