Wealth Analysts T-Shirts

"If we didn't have everything, Boswell, what would you want?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Will work for ETFs

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'Crisis'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Travel looks strong!

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"He downgraded Apple."

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

Poor vs Rich

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

"I worry that we're headed for a future where you won't be able to earn three hundred times the salary of your lowest paid worker."