Watching Time Pillows

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Captain in a storm

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Einsteiners.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Television Readers.

Natural Disasters

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Lazy Octopus

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

American Idle.

'There's nothing on.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Love is when you watch television together.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

It's supposed to get cold tonight.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"