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'They read such escapist nonsense. . .'

"You're going to hate yourself."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

First Novels.

Tut and Carmen.

"Now I really hate poetry."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Well, we needed the rain."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Author does not do tricks."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Scarpia from Tosca

Dating an English Major

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'