Warriors At Heart Pillows

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Heavenly Gazette This Heavenly Gazette is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section Because you can't take it with you. There's no weather forecast. It's perfect every day. I don't see any sports scores. Everybody's a winner up here. And there are no political reports. Of course not in paradise we don't hear anything about politics!

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

William Tell Executions.

'You're too aggressive.'

Sporting maladies.

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

Help - "What's in it for me?"

Karate School.

'Did they say WHY you could no longer be a Spartan?' 'Something about, 'image'.'

Owl

Condoleezza Rice

War Exercise.

Lost your helmets during the battle, huh? Who's laughing now?

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'Oh dear.'

Braveheart.

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

"Did you remember to put on clean underwear?"

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

Candies and diet pills

'Uh-oh, teacher burnout!'

Genghis Khan

Quitting smoking isn't easy!

'This one is for 'World of Warcraft 3,'

"The lads are beginning to think you've lost your bottle, Sven!"