Warrantless Explorer Gifts

'I don't NEED a warrant!'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

High-gravity baseball

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

Vacation Bus Photo

'The view is much better on the other side of the bus, we'll sit there on the way back.'

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Desert Roundabout

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Airport

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

Things that scare Jimmy

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'I got a fright when he stepped on me, but, judging by the way he jumped, so did he...'