Warning Label Enthusiast Pillows

'Talk about tough — he uses Surgeon-General's warning labels to roll his own.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Geekasaurus.

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

No Action Comics

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

Chiantis In Translation

'You have got a computer worm!'

Prince.

'I'm in a good mood bad mood.'

Caution: Do not try and make sense of our medical warnings whilst operating heavy machinery.

Caution: slippery surface.

Man lost in desert, sign reads: Caution Sun Glare next 200 miles.

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'A masters in nutrition, Ph.D. in biochemistry - you'll be perfect for writing our labels.'

'This chicken was raised on a farm, ate corn and never consumed drugs. That's more than I knew about you when we dated.'

"This brand of sugar looks good. The first ingredient is whole wheat flour."

Beware of the Frog

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fat.

Stop before it's too late

'Caution: this tomato soup combines with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas.'

"Careful with that window. The safety sticker says 'open windows can be hazardous.'"

'If food products were honestly labeled...'

Last Sign You'll Ever See

Man posting a letter in his office faced with various openings

Road ends.

Ultimate generics.

'The law requires me to inform you that everything you've ordered may be hazardous to your health.'

"The following program is intended for mature viewers. So, Ed, you should leave the room now."

"Say - do we really want to bury this Armani necktie?"