Wall Street Gifts

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'I did well while good news was bad news. Then good news became good news--and that was bad news.'

'A 'buy and forget' stock? That's easy for you to say.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.