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'And where have you been?'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Elections

Unanimous voting.

Egyptian Football

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Now what?!'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Why are these polling places so hard to get to?"

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'Are you blind ref?'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

Referees at the Original Olympics.

Red Card - Gold Card.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Footballer playing for time

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'