Voting Official Gifts

'And where have you been?'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Elections

Unanimous voting.

Egyptian Football

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Pole Vault Rules

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Now what?!'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Are you blind ref?'

'Why are these polling places so hard to get to?"

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

Footballer playing for time

Referees at the Original Olympics.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Tennis corruption

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.