Volkswagen Aficionado T-Shirts

'They were all born in my Volkswagen on the way to the hospital...'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

It's great for pulling the birds!

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Inflating Boobs.

Mohammad's motors

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Route 666

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Smile

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"Perfect."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

"I told you not to polish the car too much."