Voicemail Pillows

"This is the voicemail of Michel Barnier.For angry drunk ranting, press 1. For separate, weepy pleading, press 2. To just sorta breathe heavily into the phone for an extended period, press 3."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"Our coffee plantation is saved! Look! Now, for one meeting - ten pots of coffee!"

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

"Before you leave for your vacation, re-record your extended leave message. The one you just made is too giddy."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

"Hello Auntie Maureen... Hello whoever's monitoring the call."

At 100 years old, Ceil pretty much spoke her mind...

I don't believe this...I just fell in love with a recording!

'She's out. Who shall I say was going to listen?'

'Click! I'm out right now.'

'Oh - you're there! I was hoping I could just leave a message.'

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

"...You caught me at a bad time. I accidentally picked up the phone instead of letting voicemail answer it."

'Please leave a message after the beep and this short advertisement...'

"Thank you for calling your father. If this is an emergency, press 1. If you need money, press 2. To speak about your general life updates, please stay on the line: your mother will be with you shortly."

The Age of Innocence

The voices in Preston's head preferred leaving voicemail messages.

"For Facetime or Zoom?..."

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

'I didn't get your message because I'm letting my voice mailbox fill up.'