Voice Of Reason Pillows

'Why be so glum when I've told you that you've got the body of a man half your age?' 'Because I'm a woman.'

Moanathon.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

Al, you know how a lot of people in Britain regretted their decision to leave the European Union? I was just wondering if you ever regretted your decision to leave the human race.

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"If memory serves, the alternative to being a McGovern-nik was being a Nixon-nik."

'We don't want to deny you the right to protest, but no more signs, tents, singing...'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

"Wow, Bill! It sounds like you're developing a real moral streak!"

Big government pig

Uniformed but Passionate

"It's another poll asking if we'll ever trust another poll again."

'Who wants to play celebrity rant?'

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

Turkey missed the exit twice

"In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback."

'My leter to the editor lost a lot of its punch since they made it fit to print.'

"We are dropping your column. Many readers think you're just to extreme."

When alchemy faded, chemistry began. When herbalism faded, medical science began. When astrology faded, space exploration began. I can't wait to see what happens after religion fades.

Dear Sadie, Coke or Pepsi? Actual reader question. You're really asking that questions? The answer is so obvious: Coke! Or Pepsi. Definitely Pepsi! What's important in my line of work is not the answer but how strongly you express it. Send questions to asksadiesho@gmail.com

Now They're Killing Themselves

A survey taker distills the voices of the many into his ear.

'This is an unique, handmade designer sign. An African family could live three years from the money I paid for it!'

Hong Kong Protests

"You can't just say you 'heard' something. Yu have to say whether you liked it or not!"

Putin and Russia

Hong Kong's umbrella revolution

"I'm sorry, but I'm morally and politically opposed to hangman."

'Oh, all right then, you can start a damn blog!'

'Ah'll cut his (swearing) off!', 'Why didn't I (swearing) think of that!'