Voice-mail Virtuoso Pillows

"I leave messages in the pussycats' little voice-mail boxes. Sometimes they get back to me. Sometimes they don't."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"5...4...3...2..."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

Busking during a pandemic

"Hold my video conferencing calls, Gina."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Leonard Cohen

Remote work

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

"....and Brian, down there, is just here to even out our grid."

"My Dreams are all Gallery View now."

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

How to dress for a Skype meeting when you work from home

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

Keep your remarks varied but within context...like listening to Pandora.

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

'I've lost my voice...'

'I do great voice-overs.'

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

"Before you leave for your vacation, re-record your extended leave message. The one you just made is too giddy."

"...Henry feels his telephone answering machine message lacks dynamic projection."