Voice Enthusiast Pillows

'I have nothing against you being helium. It's your voice, Steven. Your squeaky, high voice!'

Chat Lines - "If you would like to talk to a machine that sounds like a woman press 1. If you would like.."

'I've always wanted to be a politician, but I speak in a low voice.'

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

An Adam's Melon

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

What's normal?

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Changing Minds

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

William Pitt the Elder

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'