Vocabulary Guru Pillows

Wordplay: Kiss.

A Puppet Named Juan

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'The Questioner'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Doggone

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Stick them up...'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'